With all the talk about ‘Freedom Day,’ you might be feeling a little out of control, I know I am. I’ve spoken before about my anxiety about coming out of lockdown, but with the removal of all restrictions, including face masks and social distancing, I feel like things are spiralling a little, especially with cases on the rise again, and that’s when I have to remind myself – I can only control, what I can control.
A year ago, something like ‘Freedom Day’ would have tipped me backwards when it comes to my anxiety, but I’ve really been working hard on practising mindfulness, gratitude, and making sure that my happiness isn’t controlled by something I can’t control.
When it comes to Covid, I can’t control what the government does or other people or companies, I can only control my actions, and I can tell you now I will still be wearing a mask, while on public transport, in a shop, at the cinema, in a restaurant or pub, and generally any public place. I do have some anxiety when it comes to some people choosing not to wear a mask, and in those circumstances, I just have to remind myself I can’t control what others do. I just need to protect myself by ensuring my own social distance, wearing a mask, and washing my hands regularly.
IIt is hard, but I’m trying to have more balance in my life and to do that I need to stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and just concentrate on myself. I know, easier said than done, but start small and work your way up.
Things I Can Control In My Life
What has helped me is doing a ‘what I can control’ list in my bullet journal of the things I can control in my life. I actually have two, a silly version that makes me smile and a more serious version, which helps to put all the other shit into perspective. Then when I’m having a bad anxiety day, I turn to the page, read through my lists, sometimes add to it, and then face the challenges of the day head-on.
So, first up my silly 10:
- How I take my tea
- When I go to bed
- How many squares of chocolate to eat
- What underwear to put on
- How many cuddles I can get from Falcon
- What to bake next
- How much time to spend in the garden or in nature
- Turning off the news
- Writing in my journal
- Lounging in the bath
Now for the things that really help:
- I can control how much I’m on social media
- Maintain my own social distancing
- Showing kindness to others
- Being kind to myself
- How much exercise to do
- When I need to take a break
- Setting boundaries – whether for work, social media, or with friends and family
- The goals I set myself
- Apologising when I’ve made a mistake
- Having a positive attitude
OK, it might seem a little silly, but seriously why don’t you give it a go and write your own ‘what I can control’ list.
Balance this with a list on what you can’t control
As well as a list on what I can control – I also have a list on things I can’t control to remind myself that it is OK to be anxious about that, but not to be scared of it.
- How long a crisis will last
- If others don’t social distance or wear masks
- What others say
- The actions of others
- Past mistakes
- Being sick
- The weather
- Others being honest
- Panic buying
- The passage of time
Now with the what you can’t control list – read through them and say to yourself – I will let go of these things!
The biggest thing to remember and something I tell myself daily – you will not have control over what comes and goes, but you do have control over how you react to it.
