There is something special about Christmas, but there is no denying that some years it can also feel overwhelming, and a little harder to get into the festive spirit. With everything else that has gone on this year, it isn’t surprising that I’m feeling overwhelmed, underprepared and less joyful, but I also know that I’m probably not alone, December is a hard time for a lot of people.
I think for me this year has gone up a gear. I’ve noticed that some people have gone big on their decorations, and early. Some even ‘decked the halls’ before December even hit. There has been a lot of over-the-top themes, DIY garlands and wreaths, as well as complicated bakes that made me anxious just looking at the ingredient list.
Instagram is the app that brings joy as well as shatters confidence and it took me a week-or-two of all these elaborate displays to realise that is their Christmas, mine will be completely different. This doesn’t mean theirs is better, just different from mine, and to be honest, I love having a Christmas tree with a theme of memories rather than a regimented colour scheme.
There is a tendency to get a little swept away at this time of year, and with good reason, the twinkle lights, the delicious bakes, and the festive joy are wonderful, when you aren’t feeling overwhelmed. I haven’t been shy in sharing that I can be a very anxious person, but I’ve also come to realise that there are tricks to helping me cope to lessen how overwhelmed I feel, and I thought I would share a few things that work for me, just keep scrolling.
“Christmas magic is silent. You don’t hear it – you feel it, you know it, you believe it.”
Kevin Alan Milne
7 ways to manage your wellbeing this Christmas to feel less overwhelmed
Be kind to yourself
There’s a pressure at this time of year to always be happy, but that isn’t real life is it? It is OK to not be OK. I always say to myself that the Christmas joy will come, forcing it never helps and makes me feel more overwhelmed. Also, if you don’t like this time of year, that’s OK as well, the festive period isn’t for everyone the lights, the noise and the over-crowded shops can be a little draining. Be kind to yourself and adjust how you do Christmas.
Like for me, I’ve always hating organised fun, like work parties, it was one of the best things about going freelance, as I didn’t have to think of a reason not to go and have to put up with work colleagues moaning at me about it.
Create achievable goals and make a plan
This is important to understand at any time of year, but if you are like me during the festive season you probably have a very long to-do list, from baking to shopping to decorating and even DIY. There is a little less pressure on my list this year with a pandemic-quiet Christmas, but I still have lots of traditions I like to enjoy.
My rule is always to keep the things that make joy, ditch the stressful activities, and put a few new traditions onto the list in a maybe column, as bonus treats. For instance, this year my Christmas cake is less one giant cake, more lots of little ones, by treating the experience more like baking muffins I found it a lot less stressful.
Have a worry list
OK, stick with me, this sounds a little silly, but I’m a crazy worrier and I’ve found that writing down my worries can help me stay in control of my anxiety. Write all your worries down, then go through them one-by-one, I generally do this with my husband as it adds perspective, we discuss them while asking can you do anything about it? Is it in your control? If not, and more often than not they aren’t, I cross it off my list, the ones where I can do something about it, we set out how and it always makes me feel better.
Priorities self-care
For me, this is about maintaining some kind of routine with things like sleep, eating, and mobile phone use. Sometimes during big events like Christmas, we can be glued a little too much to our phones and for me, that’s a particular trigger, whether comparisons through social media or lack of messages. I also need a good 8-hours of sleep and as much as I could just live off chocolate during the whole festive season it really doesn’t do anything for my mood – add fruit and vegetables into the mix – you can thank me in the new year.
Get outdoors
I think I would add this on any list to deal with anxiety and overwhelming events, but it is true, getting outdoors clears the mind and allows you to recharge your batteries. You don’t have to go far, maybe take a cup of tea and sit in the garden and listen to the birds, walk around the block, or even head out a little further and make a day of it. Also, at night this time of year is great for stargazing, if we have clear skies of course, and I always find looking up to the stars rejuvenating.
Pace yourself
This is very important and some year’s I really haven’t taken my own advice and overdone it early and suffered the rest of the month. This year we might not have in-person Christmas parties, dinners and catch-ups, but already the virtual events are coming through and there is only so much of me to go around. Don’t feel bad for declining an event, maybe instead suggest doing something in January when things are a little quieter.
Remember nothing is perfect
I think I have romanticised certain Christmases a little too much in my head. They probably weren’t that perfect – but in my head, they just went according to plan. I have to remind myself that nothing in this world is perfect and those memories just reflex the good times. What I tell myself now is that done is better than perfect. Yes, I could anxiously stress over not cleaning the kitchen perfectly, or I could just accept that it was fine and clean until the cat came in and put her muddy paw prints all over the island top.
Things happen, the trick is not letting them derail your Christmas fun. In most circumstances, stopping and breathing, or talking it through with your partner, family member or friend, really helps puts things into perspective, and will give you more time to enjoy Christmas films or FaceTime with family.
How do you manage the festive period?
If you are struggling and feel overwhelmed, don’t do it in silence, reach out to a friend, family member or a confidential helpline like Samaritans – call for free on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org.
